Saturday, June 16, 2007

Dedicated to Jennifer and Andrea....

I dedicate this blog to my blogger friends Jennifer and Andrea because my son is refusing to nurse and I have finally relented and am giving him formula. :) The dedication is because these two people dealt with me as the nursing freak who "encouraged" them to nurse their children, sure that you can power through and nurse if you really want to no matter what. I still believe that nursing is the best and the most natural choice, and when challenged by it, hard work will result in success, but I am now admitting that I am not a perfect earth mother and am not willing to stress myself out anymore about it.

Over the last month Max has not been nursing well at all. He is distracted easily and probably gets about 5 minutes total of sucking and none of it is vigorous. Every session seemed to be filled with me begging him to eat and worrying about Hailey because we had left her downstairs to find a distraction free zone. Nothing was working and though he didn't seem hungry, he was chowing down on solids. I know that he is supposed to still be getting the majority of his nutrition from his liquid diet, so I was worried. Monday I tested him by nursing and them offering him a bottle to see if he was still hungry after nursing. He sucked down 4 oz after I had nursed/wrestled with him for 30 minutes, and this convinced me that he is trying to wean. My books say that he is teething, and I would have told me a year ago to power through and he will pick it up again, but honestly, I am tired and I just don't have the energy or whatever it will take to make the effort. I have tried pumping, but making the time to do that is close to impossible, and honestly he doesn't seem to like breast milk in the bottle form. So, my two closest friends, feel free to laugh, tease me and feel smug. You have both earned it! :)

However, that doesn't mean the mommy guilt isn't in full force. Hailey got 13 months and Max will only get 6. I feel like he can add this to the long list of ways he gets the short end of me as the second child. Mommy was much perkier with Hailey and yelled less. Mommy spent hours talking to Hailey and playing one-on-one, and Max gets minutes and occasional half-hours when Hailey is sleeping. I realize, though, that Hailey is cheated too, so maybe it will all even out. After all, they have each other to talk about how crazy their mom is an how much I screwed them both up. I know this is just the beginning of the million ways I will be unfair, and it gives me a whole new perspective on the many times I felt cheated by my own parents by what they did for or gave my siblings.
So, Max this is for you, my baby boy. Know that I love you with all my heart and will do everything in my power to be the best mom possible and I love you every bit as much as I love Hailey, even if I could only breastfeed you for half the time! :)

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Friday, June 15, 2007

Dinner Massacre

Not much is going on with us Petersons, but dinner last night was an expression of Hailey's artistic instincts (which she gets from my sister, not me) and I took some pictures of her ketchup painting. It looks a bit bloody and was VERY messy. I thought, Kim is going to freak, as I was taking the pictures, so these are for you and Sophie :)

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"Oh no! What did I do!"
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This is after she rubbed her eyes. I felt bad for her, but was laughing too, I am so mean.
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The beginning of the clean up. Needless to say, she went straight to the bathtub afterwards :)
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Have a great day everyone and I will blog soon about a new delimma that I don't have time for at the moment (Hailey needs to be threatened to take a nap at the moment)

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

2 By 2

Jenn has succeeded in getting me to blog :) Not much is going on in the Peterson world, but we will be busier soon, so maybe I will have fun pics then. I have also so recently become obsessed with the show "Brother and Sisters", so much of my free computer time is caught up in watching it online. Sad pathetic life, I know :) So, here is my two by two post!

Two Names You Go By:
1.Heather-I was born in 1978 also, but my mom thought she WAS being creative, just like the millions of other moms in the late 70's that named their girls Heather
2.Mommy-my fave even after the 5 millionth time

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1.Pink PJ shirt
2.Blue Daisy DZ shorts from college

Two Things You Want in a Relationship
1.Humor-Cam is still the weirdest and funniest person I know
2.Fun

Two of Your Favorite Things to Do
1.Take the kids places with my mom
2.Hang out sans kids with girlfriends and catch up-the two may seem contradictory, but all moms will understand

Two Things You Want Very Badly at This Moment
1.Nissan Armada-Can you hear Cam laughing until he can't breathe, I can
2.new clothes!!!-nothing fits after two babies...I am too small and too big all at once...my body is just weird now

Two Pets You Have or Had
1.Daisy the wonder Siamese-i still miss her
2.Layla-my sweet lab who Cam and I got to teach us how to be parents and still loves us even though we keep bringing home kids...I promised her that I am done

Two People Who Will Fill This Out First
1.Andrea-because I am evil and can make her :)
2.Alicia-not really, but there is no one else

Two Things You Did Last Night
1.Watched B&S online (see beginning of post)
2.Ate apple pie that Cam made-yum!!

Name Two Chores That You Do Not Like
1.2, only two......wow......I could go on for days, but I will settle for putting away laundry
2. And vacuuming

Two Things You Ate Today
1.yogurt with granola-I eat it every morning for breakfast, I am a creature of habit
2.a cereal bar

Two People You Talked to Last
1.my MIL
2.Hailey

Two Things You are Doing Tomorrow
1.Going to the park
2.small grocery shopping-milk and a few other things

Two Favorite Holidays
1.Thanksgiving-I love the food!!! and Jenn comes to town :)
2.Christmas-I hate the exchanging of presents, but I love to see fam

Two Favorite Beverages
1. I gotta go with Jenn on the Margaritas and Buffett...my fave is drinking them out of paper McD's cups while tailgating for the concert...good times! Buffett in '08 BABY!
2.Sweet tea-I make the best :)

So, I will leave you with a pool pic of Hailey, because it is fun and I like pictures!
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She is pouring water on her head, and I love her expression.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Family pool pic

We have only been to the pool a couple of times and it is impossible to juggle/watch my two kids and take pictures, so this one is from Memorial Day weekend when my mom came with us and it's all you are getting for now. Cam has my camera in the Xterra because I hurt it (the xterra)this weekend and he is getting it fixed. Garage doors are mean and one tried to bite my car, that is all I will say. For those of you that know me well, it was only a matter of time before I injured this vehicle. I have been driving it since December, so this accident was due :)

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Please ignore my fat legs :(, but other than that and Max not looking at the camera, not bad.

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Hailey eating her "sicle". She loves them!

She is proficient at water wings now, so I will try to post some of her in them soon. It is so cute and it makes me cry to see how grown-up she is!!