Friday, May 18, 2007

Comtemplative Housemommy

It has been a rough couple of days because Max hasn't been sleeping well and a playdate friend is not returning my calls, and compounded by the weather and a need to save money, I haven't really been out of the house much. This has, in turn, made me contemplate how much better I would have it if I worked and has made me feel pretty down. I love being with my kids on most days and never missing a first smile, roll, or step is amazing, but I go crazy for some adult conversation as well.
A working mom friend once went into depth about what a day in her life is like and I was overwhelmed just hearing about it, but I also found myself thinking about all the times she talked to someone over the age of two and how I bet she doesn't just think of herself as mommy, but as wife, mother and lawyer. In the past two years since I left the work force, I have tried to branch out and meet other moms like me to make friends with, but everytime I get a playdate and some hope, it is another 6 months to a year before it happens again. I think that I am pleasent and I have friends who like me, so I don't think they hate me, but I have been trying to enter a mommy-clique and I am thinking that it is not working. I reached out two weeks ago to Kindermusic moms (before I was booted) and we had a playdate, and I thought everyone had a great time. I exchanged numbers and have called them twice this week, with no call back. This has helped in me arriving at the bummed housewife place I am now. I am thinking about trying something just for me (tennis lessons perhaps), but that poses a new problem because no one seems willing to watch both kids at the same time (most especially my hubby), but I am starting to think if I don't do something soon I might just rent a convertible and dissappear forever. Just kidding, sorta :)
I need a hobby, so that is my new goal. I am going to find something that makes me special that has very little to do with being a mom. Now, what can that be? All suggestions are welcome and sorry for laying all this crap on those of you who made it this far :)

I leave you with a recent pic of Max that is so cute I should have it taped beside my TV so I can see it at 1am, 3am, and 5am when I want to give him to a nice home with a sweet tempered mommy who isn't full of frustration and anger.
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3 comments:

Stacy said...

Hang in there! just remember being a mom is the most important job you can have! Don't give up on the "other mothers" you are bound to find a good one! I know exactly what you are saying though, been there!!!

Jonathan's Mommy said...

As I've told you before, you are a wonderful mother and you have incredible children. As you commented, we are all struggling to decide what we want to do with ourselves. I think it's part being almost 30, part grass is always greener and part just human nature wondering "what if."

I am SURE that you will find a mommy friend soon who is just as awesome as you are!

Twin Mommy Law Chick said...

I have left all hobbies by the wayside long ago but I'm thinking tennis lessons sound good for you! Tell husband to suck it up! It's only going to get harder for him when he has two that are running around as opposed to one running around and another being held.

Good luck with the mommies. Maybe the park this summer? Or doesn't your grandmother buy you a pool membership, maybe there??

BTW, I bought a leash for each for King's Island and the zoo. They're the cute little "pretend I'm not actually a kid leash" animal ones. They aren't fooling anyone, but the kids liked the puppy and monkey, so we'll see.