It has been a rough couple of days because Max hasn't been sleeping well and a playdate friend is not returning my calls, and compounded by the weather and a need to save money, I haven't really been out of the house much. This has, in turn, made me contemplate how much better I would have it if I worked and has made me feel pretty down. I love being with my kids on most days and never missing a first smile, roll, or step is amazing, but I go crazy for some adult conversation as well.
A working mom friend once went into depth about what a day in her life is like and I was overwhelmed just hearing about it, but I also found myself thinking about all the times she talked to someone over the age of two and how I bet she doesn't just think of herself as mommy, but as wife, mother and lawyer. In the past two years since I left the work force, I have tried to branch out and meet other moms like me to make friends with, but everytime I get a playdate and some hope, it is another 6 months to a year before it happens again. I think that I am pleasent and I have friends who like me, so I don't think they hate me, but I have been trying to enter a mommy-clique and I am thinking that it is not working. I reached out two weeks ago to Kindermusic moms (before I was booted) and we had a playdate, and I thought everyone had a great time. I exchanged numbers and have called them twice this week, with no call back. This has helped in me arriving at the bummed housewife place I am now. I am thinking about trying something just for me (tennis lessons perhaps), but that poses a new problem because no one seems willing to watch both kids at the same time (most especially my hubby), but I am starting to think if I don't do something soon I might just rent a convertible and dissappear forever. Just kidding, sorta :)
I need a hobby, so that is my new goal. I am going to find something that makes me special that has very little to do with being a mom. Now, what can that be? All suggestions are welcome and sorry for laying all this crap on those of you who made it this far :)
I leave you with a recent pic of Max that is so cute I should have it taped beside my TV so I can see it at 1am, 3am, and 5am when I want to give him to a nice home with a sweet tempered mommy who isn't full of frustration and anger.