Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Thoughts on my crazy mom brain

I need to preface this blog with this statement: I am a crazy mom and crazy sensitive about my kids. Recently, I encountered a situation where I felt one of my kids was compared to someone elses and I lost it because mine did not measure up. I stewed and moaned about it all day to my hubby and debated on flying off the handle at this person, but in the end I decided that the person meant no harm and had no idea how insensitive they were being. They are just proud of their child and wanted others to know about it. I know that my child is exceptional and special and wonderful in their own way and I don't spend my time spouting about how my kids are better than the norm because I think every kid is better in some ways than others. I try really hard not to get caught up in the mommy-comparison game, but sometimes my evil side rears its ugly head and competitive rage will consume me. I hope that one day I can honestly let go and be OK with my children's strengths and weaknesses and not think about them in comparison to others because I don't want them to ever think that I am not proud of them. How do you do that I wonder? How do you encourage without stressing your child out or comparing them to others, whether it be consciously or subconsciously? Is this just going to be one of the infinite ways that I am going to screw my kids up? Probably, but I know there is still time, and I am aware of the problem, so there is still hope. I love Hailey and Max to no end and I do the best I can as their mom, and when it it feels like someone else believes that they are inferior, I feel inferior and all those old issues from high school and college come back. Because being a mom is my current chosen profession, I put way too much of myself into my kids and if one small thing is said in the negative I lose it for them and myself. I can't be the only one, though, so that is my only consolation. Crazy moms of the world unite and we shall figure out how we can least screw up the next generation!

1 comment:

Janice said...

I absolutely understand what you are going through. First of all, being a mom is the hardest job of all, I think. I mean, who wants to screw their kids up?? Second, when you encounter a mom or a group of them, you cannot help but compare your children to their, developmentally and emotionally. I even compare my children with each other. But like you said, each child is unique and special. We all try to do the best we can.

~Fellow Crazy mom
P.S. I couldn't view your pictures on your other posts.